i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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