i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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