butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
so explain again why im purple
no
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
NoShamevember. You game?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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