Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Can I color on your dick again?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
