I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Randomize
