Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
