Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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