i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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