She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
