So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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