u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
