His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
