the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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