You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
