He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
