When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
