I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
