If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Say something about gay babies.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
