He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
