90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
