and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
