capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
