today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
