I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
