it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
she told me i tasted like america
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
