Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
