and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
