She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
