Heybabeimwearingurpanties
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
try to milk me bitch
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
