I'm lost and stupid without you.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
