she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
