false alarm. still invincible.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
