I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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