Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
