I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
