He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
