I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
