He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
