sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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