R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
