he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
