pedialite and red bull = repair kit
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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