I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
