Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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