thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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