i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
We got so high we made milksteak
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
