she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
