Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
