don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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