38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
