Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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