I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
