okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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