As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
